Entertainment Media's Annoying Little Brother

If It Only Takes Seven Hits Of Acid To Be Legally Insane, Then This Film Counts As Eight.


The Forbidden Zone ( USA 1982, 73 minutes)

Actually that whole acid rumor is a bunch of nonsense, but if any one thing should make you legally insane it is watching this movie. It answers the unasked question, what do you get when you mix a horny Herve ’”Tattoo”Villechaize, Warhol hanger on/actress Viva, a very scary looking Susan Tyrrell, and The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo? Answer: Either a substitute when you can’t score anything from the candyman, or one incredibly strange, yet oddly delightful film. Were I to even attempt to describe this film to you there is a high probability that either you, or I, will go insane. Don’t believe me? Then check out the highly politically incorrect opening.

O.K. just breathe a minute, it will pass. Now add seventy more bizarre minutes to that and you have the idea.

The Forbidden Zone is a unique exercise in the bizarre, the strange, and the surreal. And it’s got tits in it, thanks to Giselle Lindley’s Princess that is topless for the entire running time of the film.

Basically The Forbidden Zone is about Flash Hercules’ and Squeezit’s (the chicken boy) efforts to rescue their respective sister’s (Frenchy & Rene) from The Sixth Dimension (What happened to the fourth and fifth, is anyone’s guess). Frenchy had arrived there when she decided to take a little peek behind the forbidden door in the basement.

Meanwhile King Fausto (Villechaize), much to the displeasure of Queen Doris (Tyrrell), has fallen in love with Frenchy. Queen Doris orders their servant (Bust Rod the frog) to lock up Frenchy, but King Fausto has her sent to cell 63, where he keeps his concubines. Eventually The Queen moves all the denizens of cell 63 to the torture chamber, and when a fuse blows halting the torture they are moved elsewhere.

In the meantime Flash and Gramps(who has gone since Squeezit refused) are captured, but they manage to escape. Eventually they persuade Squeezit to help, but he is promptly captured by Satan. Squeezit makes a deal to help Satan get the Princess if he will help rescue Frenchy and Rene. Satan agrees. Squeezit accomplishes his task, but Satan has him beheaded (he is evil after all). Eventually Squeezit’s head, which has now sprouted chicken wings, finds the king and informs him of what has happened.

While preparing to kill Frenchy, Doris is confronted by the ex-queen, and the two engage in a cat-fight, which Doris wins. King Fausto stops Doris from killing Frenchy by explaining that Satan’s Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo are holding the Princess hostage, and will kill her should anything happen to Frenchy. Flash and Gramps arrive, and Flash gets knocked down by Gramps. Ma Hercules enters The Sixth dimension in time to see a seemingly dead Flash, and shoots Queen Doris. King Fausto mourns Doris for about 35 seconds, and then marries Frenchy. The surviving characters look toward a bright future, as they plan to take over everyone and everything in the Galaxy.

The above synopsis does not do this film justice, since The Forbidden Zone is one 73 minute long WTF moment, with cool songs and dance numbers (and tits, lest you have forgotten). Oh, just watch it. Then you can say you have seen the Citizen Kane of the avant-garde.

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